Camron and I laughed at each
other in between contractions as we threw together some bags for the hospital,
I had packed Karrington’s diaper bag, but had no idea what I even wanted to
have at the hospital with me.
“Hopefully they don’t send us
home,” I said to Camron as he helped me off of the floor of the hallway. “What
if I am not even really in labor?”
“Maybe we will have a baby
tonight!” Camron said, he didn’t seem to hear me, his smile grew more and more
as each contraction subsided, excitement glazed his eyes.
My contractions had been getting
more and more intense over the last week or so, and I fully expected them to
get much worse when I was in labor. On Sunday morning I felt that my
contractions (Braxton Hicks) were getting more frequent, but I didn’t really
think much of it. All through church I dealt with the tightening and releasing
of the contractions, cringing when one of the Sunbeams rocked back and forth
violently on my lap hitting my belly at just the right times, perfectly coupled
with the tightening. We got out of
church and headed over to mom and dad’s house to have lunch with them. When we
got there mom watched me as I shifted uncomfortably every five or so minutes,
urging me to time the contractions just to be sure.
“They
really aren’t even that bad, just kind of uncomfortable, I am sure if I were in
labor it would be a lot more intense.” I explained to mom, not wanting to get
my hopes up, after all, my due date wasn’t until the next week. But to ease her
mind, I decided to get an app on my phone to time how far apart and how long
they were.
Throughout
the day, I watched the times get closer and then further apart, convincing
myself that I wasn’t in labor, and honestly being pretty disappointed when I
would have a contraction that lasted only about thirty seconds, and was eight
minutes from the previous instead of a constant five. We had lunch and then mom
and I played a few games of phase 10 while Dad and Camron took a nap
downstairs. Mom watched me like a hawk as I breathed through each contraction
with a little discomfort. As the day
continued on, my contractions slowly got farther apart, then while I sat on a
recliner with my little sister playing with my hair to distract me, I noticed the
contractions getting closer together and lasting just a little longer each
time. I decided to text one of my Doulas and ask her if she thought I was in
labor, or if it was just Braxton Hicks. She told me to take a warm bath, and
then lay on my left side, if it were fake labor pains, then they would subside
with the water and the position. She also told me to try to walk and talk
through a contraction, if I could still do one or the other, I probably wasn’t
in labor. We watched a movie with mom and dad, Adreanna playing with my hair
more intensely through each contraction as I spoke successfully to her through
each, and then decided to go home and try a bath.
We got home and I lowered myself
into the bath, squatting slightly as the water filled the tub, as I did so, I
noticed blood in the water. I called Camron in, and he turned off the water as
I began to empty the bath. My mucous plug had come out, furthering my disbelief
that I was in labor; I thought maybe the contractions were just to loosen my
cervix enough to release the mucous plug.
After we cleaned out the water, I lasted only about ten minutes in the
bath before I decided that I didn’t want to be in anymore, the contractions had
slowed slightly, but was still hurting just as bad as before. The next test was
to lie on my side. I went into the front room and laid down while Camron got a
snack together. Eventually the contractions picked back up, and I decided that
I wanted to try to get some sleep, so I went in the bedroom while Camron
watched a show on TV.
Being alone in my bed proved to
be a bad idea, the contractions were getting closer together, and I timed each
one, trying unsuccessfully to sleep in between the quickening pains. A few
times I even spoke to myself and Karrington, trying to determine true or false
labor. I didn’t want to be alone, so I
called Camron in. After about three contractions, the pain was getting
frustrating, and I had Camron follow me in to take a shower, hoping that the
hot water would relax my muscles. I
practiced my breathing and did my best to embrace the pain instead of push it
away. After about ten minutes in the shower I once again felt that I didn’t
want to be in the water anymore, so we went back to lay in bed. We each read
our scriptures, and Camron continued reading as I tried again to sleep in between
the pain.
After an intense minute and ten
second contraction, I looked at Camron and told him to call the Doula and tell
her what was going on, and ask her what she wanted us to do.
“And ask her what counts as
talking through a contraction.” I lightly joked as Camron picked up the phone.
He smiled and called the Doula.
He told her that my contractions were about two to three minutes apart and were
lasting over a minute each. We were then instructed to go to the hospital.
I slowly walked around trying to
gather my things, dropping to the floor, or leaning heavily on whichever
surface I was close to, including Camron occasionally, while each contraction
seemed to come more quickly and last a little longer. I still wasn’t convinced that I was in labor,
and I hoped they wouldn’t send us home after we got to the hospital, but we
were not up for taking chances. So we finished packing, got some snacks and
water, grabbed the car seat and diaper bag and headed out the door at 2:10am.
At 2:41am I was in the hospital bed, gown and
all, hooked up to a heart monitor for Karrington, and a contraction monitor.
Camron was going through my wallet frantically trying to find my driver’s
license; all sorts of things were falling onto the floor as he dug deeper and
deeper, past my license, while the nurses got my vital readings. Cam finally found the license, and handed it
to the nurse then walked over to me as the nurse checked my cervix. I was
dilated to a 3+, and they told me that in an hour they would check again to see
if I was dilating more, if not they would send me home.
An hour later, I was dilated to
a 4, so we got to stay! I was truly in labor! They let me get up out of the
most uncomfortable bed I have ever been in, and I got up to get into the bath
again. The water didn’t help as much as I thought it would, and I was quickly
out of the bath. Camron was helping me through each contraction, telling me how
good I was doing, and how proud of me Karrington was. I lay down on the couch
and drifted in and out of sleep between contractions, wondering if I was going
to be able to make it without an epidural, the pain just kept increasing.
Finally the nurses came back in to hook me back up to the monitors. I had got
into bed and breathed my way through a few more contractions when Camron told
me that the Doulas were finally at the hospital! I was so relieved! I was so
excited to have them come and help me cope a little better. They came in and
watched me as I breathed through the contractions, they were pleasantly surprised
as they watched me, and told me how perfect I was doing with my breathing. They
began rubbing my legs as Camron held my hand. After an hour of being hooked up
to the monitors, the nurses told me that I could once again get up and move
around.
First
we decided to go on a walk. We had to walk slowly and stop frequently so that I
could wrap my arms around Camron and sway through the contractions, breathing
as deeply as I could, imaging all the air going straight to Karrington. Close to the end of our walk, I started to
feel pretty sick, and I let my Doula’s know, luckily there was a nurse that was
walking past right when I said I was going to throw up, and she ran into a room
and got a bag for me. Oh, the joys right?
After I was done, we finished our walk and returned to my room where we decided
to try the birthing ball. What a life saver! The nurses brought in the ball and
got the bed to the right height, placing pillows for me to lean on. I sat down
and began rocking back and forth. We tried a few other positions as well, but
they all made me more irritable and made the pain more intense, so I spent the
majority of the time on the birthing ball.
At around
8:00am on Monday morning, a nurse came in to check my cervix. I was dilated to
an 8, and my water still hadn’t broken. The
nurse asked me if I wanted the doctor to break my water. Unsure of the safety
of artificial membrane rupture, I looked to my doula who assured me that there
was nothing unsafe about it because of how dilated I was.
“Well, what are we waiting for
then?” the nurses and doulas laughed in response, and the nurse went to get the
doctor.
We found out earlier that morning
that my doctor was out of town, and because of how quickly I was progressing,
he wouldn’t make it in time for the delivery, so we used the doctor on call. He
came in and introduced himself, and proceeded to break my water. I didn’t know
what to expect when he broke my water, I was unsure whether it would be painful
or not. So it startled me when I heard a pop and an enormous gush of liquid,
and I gasped. Immediately the contractions became more intense. I got through a
particularly difficult one, took a deep breath and announced loudly that I
needed to pee. Once again laughter filled the room and Camron and a doula
helped me to the bathroom. Sternly, a nurse informed me that I was not to try
to have a bowel movement, no matter how badly I needed to.
When I got to the toilet, I
began to have a contraction. I was not prepared for it, as I was relaxing my
body so that I could use the bathroom, and so I felt that I was losing control.
This was the only time during labor that I felt that I couldn’t handle it. I
told Camron to help me off the toilet so that I could get back to the bed. I
hunched over and my whole body was shaking. Since my water was now broken, I
felt the raw pain of the contractions instead of the somewhat cushioned ones
that I had been experiencing. I tried to catch my breath, breathing in deeply
the air, once again envisioning the oxygen going straight to Karrington,
feeling the contraction push her deeper and deeper into my pelvis. When the
contraction was over, I had Camron lead me quickly back to the bed. As soon as
I got there, my uterus once again contracted, I had the birthing bar above me
as I squatted beneath it, holding on as tight as I could while still trying to
relax my body.
“You’re doing so good Sarah,”
Camron told me.
“Breathe deep and slow,” Amy, my
doula whispered to me.
“Imagine your baby in your arms,
you’re so close,” Jennifer encouraged.
Then I felt the undeniable urge
to push.
“I need to push now!” I almost
yelled, the contractions seemed to be right on the surface of everything. I
could feel the pain shoot up my back, and I could feel right where Karrington’s
head was sitting in my pelvis. A nurse
checked me, and told me that I wasn’t quite dilated yet, and that I needed to
concentrate on sending the contraction down my back breathing deeper than I
had. I did exactly as she told me. Listening to each person’s encouragement,
and willing my body to help my little bird come into the world, I did whatever
I was told to do, and saying a prayer deep in my heart that all would be well with
my little one. My mom had snuck into the room right before my water was broken,
and she stood silently beside me, holding my hand, watching me. More people
began to come into the room then, I was told not to pay attention to them, and
I did so gladly. I was told that they were there to get ready for the baby; I
looked up once to see tables, towels, garbage cans and lots of surgical
equipment. I began to push. I would wait
for a contraction, which was now only about 5 seconds apart, and then I would
push as carefully and as hard as I could. Pushing three times for each
contraction for as long as my lungs would let me, I felt stronger than I ever
have in my whole life. I felt like I could do anything!
I felt Karrington’s head crown.
A nurse looked to see the
progress after about two contractions worth of pushing.
“There is the head! She’s got
lots of hair!” She said.
I looked over at the doctor for
a split second, arms folded, expecting a longer delivery.
What are you doing! I Thought, she
is coming out, what are you doing over there?!
I pushed through one more
contraction, unable to stop myself from continuing to push after the
contraction was over, I felt heat, and some stinging, and one of the worst and
most amazing feelings of my life! I watched the doctor run over, unprepared, to
pick my baby up off the bed where she lay.
“My Karrington,” I exclaimed as
the doctor held up my precious daughter. I felt like I wanted to cry, but I was
interrupted by my mother bobbing beside me. After Karrington was born, as she
lay on the bed, mom lost consciousness. Her body bobbed as she stood next to
me, and I supported her with my arm as I yelled, “mom! Mom! Are you okay! Someone
help her!”
I didn’t know what to do! The doctor
was holding up my baby for me to see, and my mom was passed out by my side! The
nurses came and grabbed her, lowering her to the floor, as the doctor clamped
the umbilical cord and I watched my Eternal Companion cut it. They placed
Karrington on my chest, ripping off my
hospital gown to place her closer to me.
5lbs 11oz, my baby girl was
completely perfect, and completely safe in my arms.
19 inches long, she was my
greatest accomplishment.
8:38 am, only 6 hours after I
entered the hospital, I held my precious daughter for the first time.
The doctor, nurses and doulas,
commented on how amazing I had done, and I felt on top of the world. I smiled
as I watched Camron hold his daughter for the first time, and suddenly the pain
didn’t seem so bad.
Delivering my baby without
medication was the greatest decision for me. I was prepared physically and
mentally as a gift from my Father in Heaven. I feel so blessed because my
Father answered the deepest pleadings and desires of my heart. Delivering my
baby was the most empowering moment I have ever experienced; there is nothing
that I have done that I feel more proud of myself for. I feel a desire to stand
atop a mountain and shout to the world my love for being a woman, endowed with
the ability to be a mother, and there proclaim the divinity of women. I now
truly understand the wonderful gift that I have been given to completely sacrifice
my body and my wellbeing for my child. So grateful for this calling, I testify
of the matchless love of our Heavenly Parents. Of a Mother so divine, so
perfect in Her loving nature, as women we are asked to give our all for our
children so that we may become perfect as she and our Father, and our Savior
are, that we may know a love for our children, the closest thing to a perfect
love.
March 10, 2014, for the first
time, I held heaven in my arms.
